Taking responsibility for yourself: The cavalry is not coming because you are the cavalry
This is about recognising your power and taking responsibility for yourself. Many of you may be familiar with something called the Drama Triangle.
When we surrender our power we tend to rotate around three defined roles.
We can be Victim.
“Poor me.” “Isn’t my life hard.” “No-one understands me.”
We can be Villain.
Coming from a place of attack. Blaming others. “It’s all their fault.” “They’re useless.” Sometimes it can be internally directed. “It’s all my fault.”
Or you can be the Superhero.
This can be the most dangerous of all. It sounds good but doesn’t actually solve anything. “Don’t worry, I’ll save the day.” “You just stay there and I’ll take on your responsibilities”
It is more ego-based then genuine support and, because it gets praised so frequently, is a hard one to challenge.
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As mentioned, we can be all three of these things at different times – and all of them involve surrendering our power.
When we take control of our power, we take on different roles altogether.
Creator – solution focussed action. Always looking for opportunities
Challenger – focussed on learning and growth. Basing decisions on facts, not hearsay.
Coach – encourage and support, rather than ‘fixing’
I work with a lot of accountants – and the initial weeks of the lockdown they were inundated with queries from people desperate to get their loan applications in with the government.
“What rescue package applies to me?” “How can I get help?”
This is not coming from a place of power. This is victim mentality at work, which switches to blame when they don’t get what they want.
The powerful person looks at the situation and looks to see what THEY can do. Not wait around for the help that may never come.
Neither my wife nor I qualify for any of the support programmes that have been put in place. If I’d sat around waiting for a handout, I’d be pretty disappointed and stressed right now.
Instead, I’m doing things. I’m helping others and I’m looking to see what I can do for myself. If help comes along, great.
Certainly, look for it and take it when offered. But if it’s not forthcoming, then fine, I’ll do it myself.
Don’t wait for the cavalry. Be the cavalry.
Taking responsibility for your business, your situation and your life is one of the hardest steps to take – but essential too. Seek out expert help from experienced advisors who can help you gain this control and comfort.
Blunt advice from Yorkshire Powerhouse
Now you’ve read our article on Taking Responsibility – have you any more questions?
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